Yesterday Starts Tomorrow

I'm standing by the window
barefoot, smoking my last cigarette
and there's no moon tonight
just the dark, starless sky
there are no planets either
and no 747's with their blinking lights
there's nothing
not even a super nova to come and take me away
or a comet to hitch a ride with.

Tomorrow,
tomorrow the sun won't come out
all the yellow flowers on the curb will die
bunnies will disappear in the forest
and all life will stand still
motionless
as I stand barefoot by the window and cry

Tomorrow there will be no more highway
there are two plane tickets
but there's nowhere to go
no raft in the ocean
no lifeguard, no nurse

There will be no wine
no diving boards
no children riding on their bikes
there will be no phone calls
and no cards in the mail

Tomorrow there will be the most absolute nothing
it will be the last page of a book
"The End" of a motion picture
the end of the camera film
and the end of the song
which I heard in your eyes

Nothing
Absolutely nothing
only yesterday
and the yesterday before that
and the one before

The yesterdays when I had you with me
when we said goodbye in the crowded airport
when we sat and prayed for safe trips
when we made incredible love promises
when we wrote pages in our book
and all of your 56 smiles will be replayed in my mind

I will hear all your different laughs
and remember all your words
your blue eyes will be forever present
reminding me there's hope
when there isn't
as the scarlett letter burns me at the stake
because there's nothing
nothing, nothing, nothing
just an abyss of emptiness
two jars of darkness
a bottle of air that is hard to breathe
and an endless ocean of pain
and guilt
and beyond that ocean
there's only more nothing
much more...

As I walk the empty Seattle streets
remembering my yesterdays with you
as life slowly escapes from me
and I roam in comatose insomnia
I bid you farewell
and I know it was all my own doing
but now that the tulips are dead
I stand barefoot by the window
and slowly begin to die
yesterday starts tomorrow
tomorrow starts today.