2008

...I keep a Moët et Chandon in a pretty cabinet....12 grapes and a brand new set of Armani red underwear for when the clock hits midnight....you do the same or whatever it is that you do, but raise your glass at midnight, I will have mine up high.

Sorry about the music, but today merits a playlist, I hope you like.

2008 has been a good year for me, I'm an extremely lucky man and I can't complain about a thing. This month was my 7th year anniversary at work, made new friends, kept writing and was able to stay tobacco free. I also visited my Mom in Mexico and paid off my Chase card (bastards). But overall I learned that at 34 I can no longer live or get by on Hungry Man, which has brought a change on my eating habits and my focus on deeper spirituality growth will reach an apex since next month I'll be enrolled on Pole Dancing lessons (at last, so many people's dream come true). Yes, here at Bull fo Brougham we listen to your feedback dear readers, we might even begin a HFNT (half fat nekid Tuesday)... kidding
It was an amazing year: we were witnesses at how to offend the whole female population of a country simultaneously (Sarah Palin), we resurrected an old war hero from the dead (John McCain), we finally put O.J. Simpson in jail, we unearthed Cheney's blatant corruption and favoritism, got Bush to declare himself openly unaccountable, witnessed Zardari substitute Musharraf and David substitute
Fidel, if Che Guevara was alive he would have a show in Vegas or participating in the Celebrity Survivor Compton. We found millions of empty plastic coffins, had Marines and contractors tie a bunch of men by their wee weees and then had them fum ball in front of the cameras, yes, in Abu Graibh. We finally legalized water boarding and saw Santa's North Pole home be foreclosed. We also kissed good bye hundreds of thousands of jobs and Billions of dollars, we ignored Alberto Gonzalez' lies and amnesia and Maury is still on tv, thank you. We also saw the three largest American Car Manufacturers claiming bankruptcy as well as some 21 banks. So other than a couple of Shopping Mall shootings and an Alaskan Senator charged with corruption it went pretty uneventful. We uncovered the corruption this government has done in conjunction with companies like Blackwater and Halliburton. Oh and we elected Obama and that was so Historical that we will be remembered as the people who believed in change, for good or for ill.

My predictions for 2008:
Stock on canned soup, bottled water, batteries, flashlights, radios and medicines... in case things get as worse as they seem to be heading towards.

Damn it Wiwille and Miss A... here's mine:

What did you do in 2008 that you'd never done before?
I wore a condom (kidding, I've done this once before)

Did you keep your New Years' resolutions and will you make more for next year?
I did, I quit smoking
I will hit the gym, start working on my degree and I'm also writing a book for which I expect to be chased by a mob of villagers with torches and shit.
The title? you really want to know the title? fine
"Bitchslap"

Did anyone close to you give birth?
No births, just abortions...

Did anyone close to you die?
Yes, remembering Julian Boldo

What countries did you visit?
Mexico

What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?
Better health

What date from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
Seeing Jorge and Marco Velez, cause they are my adoptive brothers and I hadn't seen them in decades

What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Giving people information and seeing them vote decidedly.

What was your biggest failure?
Hmmm, not withdrawing my 401k in time

Did you suffer illness or injury?
Yup, ended up at the E.R. and at the cardiologist a couple of times

What was the best thing you bought?
A night at a hotel

Whose behavior merited celebration?
Dennis, he has overcome one hell of a year.

Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
No Comments

Where did most of your money go?
Other people

What did you get really, really, really excited about?
A pair of black cheek... : |

Compared to this time last year, are you: Happier or sadder? Thinner or fatter? Richer or poorer?
I am miserable, obese and insanely wealthy, and I never lie.

What do you wish you'd done more of?
I didn't dance nearly enough Watusi as I wanted to.

What do you wish you'd done less of?
I wish I had dealt with less Tangos (drama)

Did you meet/date anyone special in 2008?
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes and... oh yes.
...and yes.

How many one-night stands?
One, right? that's why it's called ONE NIGHT?

What was your favorite TV program?
Countdown with Olbermann

Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Not anymore, I've taken that power back

What was the best book you read?
Sadly enough I didn't read a single book this year.

What was your greatest musical discovery?
Hercules and Love Affair.

What was your favorite film of this year?
2 dogs and a bowl of eukanuba

What was your favorite birthday present?
“Lono - thanks Lauren”

What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Being a gentleman is fucked up sometimes I tell you... again, no comments

What kept you sane?
Lorazepam 

Who was the best new person you met?
Kenya

Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008.
Soy, not milk