Free

I want to light up a cigarette
not out of desperation
or addiction
not for the habit
like customary sex
or affliction
it's just that.. right now I want a fucking smoke

I lied
I want more
I need more
I want to kick the door wide open
and get the fuck out

sit on a bench downtown
take pictures or not
take a nap or just plant myself there
like the city rodent I've always been
sit at the Chinese cafe
take the train and make a video
pretend I live in miserable existentialism
like you
pretend I like you
and make you believe
that our stained glass window
will last forever
it won't look the same
not after the desperation wins me over
for a sudden irresponsible self-prescription
of some anti-monotony remedies
while I keep putting the writer on a schedule
and his poems in a jail

I wont light up a cigarette

or freak out in desperation

my addiction

was more than a habit

not as good as sex 

or affliction 

it's just that I used to fucking smoke