drowning on my deathbed
and in your smile.
My blurry night, just a cloudy day
your tears, my sweat, and the fucking shrapnel of it all
spread across the living room
across the bedroom floor
like a crime scene
like a Jackson Pollock whisky hangover.
Until I recognize the bloody fingerprints on the piano
and I remember your tears
falling, like little stars on my shoes
bouncing off the floor
and your eyes, the only light in my universe,
the dying sun of your love.
I fall on my knees
and scream as I desperately drown and mourn my darkness
my poisoned well emptiness
and here I am again, begging at the door for forgiveness
and my eyes, hungry like stomachs
go searching for you
for reasons, for excuses
like the rescuing flashlights
only to hear you through the door, sobbing me away
and through the keyhole I see
your uniform
your chalkboard broken nails
the torn bra, which once was white
hanging in swinging suicide
from the shower curtain rod
your ripped plaid skirt
the dirty patent leather shoes
with their manhole broken heels
your swollen feverish cheeks
and your Fahrenheit blistered lips
hiding in the bathroom, half naked
siting on the cold and dirty tiles
bleeding your thighs again
with your favorite pocket knife.
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